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AMERICA`S
TEAM
| COWBOYS WORLD CHAMPS `72,`78,`93,`94,`96 |
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| 5 TIME SUPER BOWL CHAMPS 8 TIME NFC CHAMPS |
Emmitt Smith and Michael Strahan die
together in a car accident. They are greeted at the pearly gates by the head honcho himself...God. "Welcome gentlemen! Let
me show you your homes."
God motions to Strahan and they leave Emmitt
to wait his turn.
God and Strahan stroll along for a bit
and come up to a cute cottage painted red, white and blue. There's
even a little N.Y. Giants flag flying on the lawn.
God turns to Strahan and says,"Here is
your home. Be welcome here!"
Strahan is flattered, but suddenly notices something in the distance.
There beyond the next hill is a massive manor painted Silver and
blue with a Dallas Cowboys banner blowing on the front lawn.
Strahan says,"Hey God, thank you
for this home, but why does Emmitt get that huge mansion over there?"
"Oh that?" says God "That's MY place!"
Philadelphia, PA - A seven-year-old boy was at the
center of a Philadelphia
courtroom
drama yesterday when he challenged a court
ruling over who should
have custody of him. The boy has a history
of being beaten by his parents
and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt,
in keeping with child
custody
law and regulations requiring that family
unity be maintained to the
degree possible. The boy surprised
the court when he
proclaimed that his
aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly
refused
to live with
her. When the judge then suggested
that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried
out
that they also beat
him. After considering the remainder of the
immediate family and learning
that
domestic violence was apparently a way of life
among them, the judge
took the unprecedented step of allowing
the boy to
propose who should have
custody of him. After two recesses to check legal
references
and confer with
child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary
custody to the
Philadelphia Eagles,
whom the boy firmly believes
are not capable of beating
anyone.
ANTHRAX SCARE AT JETS TRAINING COMPLEX HOFSTRA
UNIVERSITY,
Football practice was
delayed nearly two hours today
after a player reported
finding an unknown white powdery substance on the
practice
field. Head Coach
Herm Edwards immediately suspended practice while
police and federal
investigators
were called in to investigate. After a
complete analysis, FBI
forensic experts determined that the white
substance
unknown to the players
was in fact the goal line. Practice was resumed
after special
agents decided
the team was unlikely to encounter the substance
again.
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